Hey Time Dorks!
Connor here.
Over the summer, Claire and I ran the very first cohort of our new program, The Inner Operating System. We built it for driven professionals who feel scattered, stressed, or overwhelmed and want to be more focused, energized, and present so they can create a more intentional life that feels healthy, productive, and deeply satisfying.
One of our students, Kyle, told us:
“It is not putting it mildly to say that the way you pulled all this together, the manner in which it was presented, the community you created… it changed my life for the positive more than any other intervention in my life. I fully expect to look back 20 years from now and reflect on the impact this course had.”
It was an amazing experience (and a lot of work!), so after the final live session in August, we gave ourselves some time to recharge. We’ll be kicking off a second cohort in January 2026 (more on that below) if you’re interested.
Now I’m back with a short and simple idea that’s made a huge difference in my life: the power of pausing.
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Something to Try
Have you ever said something in the heat of the moment and immediately wanted to pull the words back into your mouth? Yeah, me too.
I’ll never forget a team offsite in Los Angeles when I worked at Google. We were in a lively discussion about strategy when a colleague openly criticized my approach in front of the group. My chest tightened. Heat flushed my face. Before I knew it, I snapped back with a sharp retort.
The vibe shifted. What had been an energetic debate suddenly turned tense and uncomfortable. I left with a pit in my stomach, replaying the scene again and again.
That was the moment I realized how important a pause can be.
Pausing Enables a Powerful Choice
There is a classic line attributed to psychotherapist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl that captures this idea perfectly:
That space sounds pretty nice, huh?
How do we create that space? By pausing.
Since that offsite experience, I have spent a lot of time practicing the pause, and I have found this simple tool to be helpful in so many situations.
About to send an angry email? Take a pause.
Distracted and endlessly scrolling? Take a pause.
In a difficult disagreement with a partner or friend? Take a pause.
In big moments and little ones, pausing can shift you from a reactive, automatic pattern toward a more responsive, intentional approach.
Why It Works
When something stressful happens, your “feeling brain” is first to the scene. The limbic system, sometimes called the brain’s emotional center, reacts in about 350 milliseconds. Its job is survival, so it primes you to fight, flee, or freeze.
Your “thinking brain,” the neocortex, is slower. It takes 4 to 6 seconds to fully engage, but it is the part of the brain that helps you reason, plan, and choose wisely.
When you intentionally pause, you create the space for your neocortex to come online. Instead of letting the fast, emotional brain run the show, you give your thoughtful, rational brain a chance to weigh in.
This isn’t to say we should ignore our emotions. Emotions are crucial for intelligent decision-making, but by pausing, we are able to wisely interact with those emotions, instead of getting lost in them. That tiny buffer can completely change your response.
How To Practice
Next time you feel yourself getting triggered, angry, or upset, start with this simple sequence:
- Notice. Just catching yourself in the moment is the first step. Awareness alone begins to create space.
- Breathe. If you can remember, take a few slow, deep breaths (with an emphasis on the exhale). This will make the pause exponentially more powerful. This not only adds some buffer time before your reaction, but deep breathing is one of the most immediate pathways to regulating your nervous system.
- Reflect. Whether you remembered to pause or not, take a moment later in the day to reflect. Notice the times you reacted on autopilot and the times you managed to pause. Both are valuable. Reflection shows you the benefits of pausing, the cost of not pausing, and helps reinforce the practice.
Give it a try and let me know how it goes.
— Connor
P.S. Applications for the next Inner Operating System cohort will open soon. If you would like to be the first to know when they do, please fill out this short form.
P.P.S. Allow me to share a few more client testimonials 😍
On focus and stress:
On overwhelm and prioritization:
On energy and intention:
